While a divorce can be emotionally distressing for many couples, some people feel liberated after their separation begins, and may wish to date sooner rather than later. If you want to date before your divorce is finalized, it might be best to consider the pros and cons beforehand. There are many drawbacks to dating before your divorce is finalized, but there are situations when it can be the right decision. Before you choose to date, evaluate the risks and decide what’s best for you.
Be Aware of Your Emotional Well-Being
Whether you feel emotionally aggrieved or not, divorce is a big, life-altering ordeal that can deeply effect you, even if you aren’t aware of it. Some couples may have had marital issues for a long time, making the divorce a long-time-coming sort of decision, but that may still hurt. Even if you saw it coming, you are dividing a life you once lived together with another person, and that break can hurt, even if it’s something you want.
Try to be as honest with yourself as you can, and evaluate your feelings about your divorce. If you feel at all hesitant, it may be best to hold off. Rushing into a new relationship could make it even more difficult for you to cope with the variety of emotions you experience during the divorce process.
It Could Put a Strain on the Divorce Process
Choosing to date during your divorce might be something you are prepared for, but your soon-to-be ex-spouse may not deal with the news so easily. If tensions between you and your spouse rise, it could draw out the divorce process and make it much longer and more difficult. Any anger or frustration between the two of you will make amiable meetings and sensible discussions problematic, and in some cases nearly impossible. The less you and your spouse are able to work out together, the more you will need to rely on the court to make decisions for you.
Your Settlement May Be Affected
New Hampshire is a no-fault divorce state, meaning there needs to be no proof of fault in the divorce, and a couple may choose to divorce for their own personal reasons. However, if one spouse was unfaithful, it could be used as leverage in court to affect alimony. While you may not have committed adultery, dating during your divorce could look bad in the court, and your spouse could claim you were cheating.
Dating May Affect Your Children
If you have children, you’re likely worried about how your divorce may impact them. If parents are attentive and prioritize the needs of their children, the odds are they’ll be able to recover from the shock of the divorce just as well as you. However, even if you are ready to move on from your marriage and begin dating, it may not be as easy for your child.
First, evaluate the character of the person you’d like to date. Are they someone important enough to take this risk? Do they have values and character traits you want around your children? Ask yourself the serious questions early on and make sure a relationship with this person is something you really want. If you do decide to date them, discuss it with your children. Try to keep communication as open as possible, and encourage them to share their feelings. Tell them how you feel, and explain how it might or might not affect their schedules or the time they spend with you.
For legal counsel regarding your divorce, contact Sekella Law, PLLC divorce attorneys.